Random Thoughts🦋

Monday, December 04, 2023

Sometimes It Hurts To Help


As you get to know me, you'll know that I'm a big supporter of any group. I'm a great believer in reaching out to someone in need. Though I have limited resources. I'm not rich. I even have my own struggles. I have three children of my own to support. But, I have many skills to share with anyone who needs them.  


On the other hand, when people see your generosity and helpfulness, there's a tendency that they might abuse and use you or misuse the resources that you've given them. 


When people aren’t challenged to do as much as they possibly can to aid themselves, they learn to continuously look for answers, remedies, solutions, and fixes outside of themselves. They begin to feel powerless, useless, incapable, and needy. Because you're the solution to every problem that exists in their lives. 

Apparently, the more they feel that way, the more they attract situations that prove them right. The more they attract those negative circumstances, the worse they feel. The worse they feel, the worse it gets. This cycle is a vicious one.

When helping ceases to inspire and empower, it can hurt so much. You'll feel being used, needed, and abused. You'll get exhausted from helping someone all your life for the same thing that they're supposed to outgrow or learn from. How else can they learn and adapt to their situation? 

Before you can help someone break the cycle of enabling them to feel like a victim. When helping ceases to inspire and empower, it can hurt so much. 

The worst scenario is that instead of being helpful and empathetic, you would end up becoming the bad guy for tolerating codependency, lack of enthusiasm or assertiveness, and the list goes on.

There is nothing wrong with deriving benefits from helping others, but you must really look at your motives when your helping is hurting someone else in the process. Once you know exactly what you’re getting from the enabling behavior, you can uncover the real issue. You can learn to meet your own needs in a way that is less destructive to you and others.

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