Sunday, April 10, 2011
True Love or Pseudo Love
I often encounter some people having difficult times finding the Mr. Right when Mr. Wrong is always there to temporarily fill in. Thus, pseudo relationship exist. Sometimes in our life we fall into a trap called LOVE and we thought it is the ONE. I, for one had this kind of thing before and I could honestly say that it wasn't unhealthy at all.
Being single does not mean you are lonely and a loser. It does not mean that you are a failure or a loser. Yes, you are still single... and so what? Why do we always have to pattern our lives to them? We shouldn't give in to the peer pressure of having a relationship just to suit others or just to fit in in a group. Take your time to see what is life ahead, but remember that "it is your life and nobody has the right to dictate or tell you what you wanna do about it!"
Sometimes because of peer pressure some people tend to get into a pseudo relationship. It could refer to mutual understanding (M.U.) but not really seriously binding. No strings attached or no commitment. Casual relationship is not fun. Because it won't last longer than you expected. It may be exciting and filled with fantasies like what you see on TV drama series or fairytale story. It doesn't have to be this way. Some people are doing this just for fun because they want to belong in a group, (I was in this situation before and I am glad that I moved on) Or it could be because you are getting old and it's like you feel that you will be running out of men too soon. Where are the good men thesedays? I often ask myself as why good women that I know (closest friends) find it difficult to find one?
How will you know if it's a pseudo love? Your mind will tell you, but your heart will deny it for sure. Before you knew it, you fell in love too bad. I figured if there is such thing called "love at first sight" or it could be "lust at first sight" joke!. Sorry to say, I am not being self-righteous here. I'm just saying above all, there is physical attraction at first but I don't personally call it LOVE. Physical attraction is shallow and therefore, the start of pseudo love.
When you decide on gambling on pseudo love hoping for today’s animal attraction to spontaneously morph into tomorrow’s true love you are giving the chance to destroy yourself by bringing true love into your mindset with the wrong foot. Sometimes we have to sacrifice something in order to achieve special something (it could be a dream or needs). LOVE is a gambling. We will never know what lies ahead whether it will be good or bad. But, when you love someone... it is so impossible not to hurt or be hurt by someone you love (whether intentionally or not) as life is not always perfect.
As they always say, "Patience is a VIRTUE". Good things come to those who wait. There's nothing wrong with dating guys for as long as they are single and unattached with someone. But, there are men and women who aren't married, yet committed to be in a relationship (that's a different story). Stay out of them because you won't be able to tell if in the end s/he is going to choose you or her/him. Do you like to be in a competition on relationship? If you dare, then go ahead. In my case, I don't! I don't wanna compete with someone else and I am not willing to SHARE my man (that is what I am sure of).
That is the problem about pseudo love. You won't have assurance about true love and marriage or talking about the future with your guy/girl. Pseudo means FAKE. When you are with him/her there is a relationship (could be casual), but when you're out of sight, either of you is dating someone else. If you wanna live with this standards then... suit yourself. But in the end, you will get hurt and completely broken into pieces. These people believe in this saying.. "Out of sight, out of mind".
If the guy/gal is into you s/he will find time, you will see and feel the "effort" in the relationship, s/he is more willing to give than to take, s/he will be afraid to hurt your feelings. Finally, if s/he is into you there is always, always a happy and memorable way or ways to spend time with each other because you mean the world to that person. You will feel that you are important. There's no reason whatsoever that both of you will spend time away from each other for a long time without any communication. Mind you, communication is very, very ESSENTIAL. If s/he can't have time with you do not expect COMMITMENT, FUTURE and MARRIAGE. Well, just to clarify that marriage is not the only thing about relationship. Because I know some married couples who had long time commitment before they got separated (eventually). So, married is one thing but NOT the only thing about TRUE LOVE. It does not mean either that you are already married and you would think that s/he won't cheat on you or feels the same way as you do. How about marrying for money sake or fame? They belong to "PSEUDO LOVE" too.
"If someone wants to be part of your life, they'll make an effort to be in it."~Unknown