Thursday, March 3, 2011

NEGATIVE

It has many meanings, could be "NO", "NOT", denial, refusal or opposite of positive. A piece of photographic film showing an image with black and white tones reversed is also called NEGATIVE.

But the one I am talking about is the negative result from the pregnancy test kit, this early morning that my sweetheart bought last week, because I suspected that I was pregnant.


I mean, this is my body. I should know, if there's something wrong or not usual. However, it is still hard to tell because I missed my monthly blood flow since I started my breastfeeding to our baby.

Last January, I had one day period (blood flow) but, it was not a heavy one. How can I trust the pregnancy kit? When I also took the same test by myself, because I knew I was two months delayed. It turned out "NEGATIVE". I knew, it was not true. I felt something different in my body.

I remembered when I told my sweetheart last August 2009 that the pregtest kit said "NEGATIVE", he was not happy. Probably, he was thinking that I was just making up stories that I was preggy. Although, I could tell that he was afraid to become a father, for the first time then.

My friend accompanied me to the hospital last September, 2009. My instinct was telling me that there's a little human-being in my tummy. I was right! The urine test was saying I was three months pregnant already.

If this situation, repeats.... I will not believe any of the pregnancy test kit anymore because they aren't accurate. But, if I am really not pregnant now... I should be happy about it, too. That means, I can still do my usual activities and less worries to our finances later on.

But, I won't be surprised if I am pregnant in the next two months. I will still have to face the truth, then. If it is so, I must stop getting pregnant next time (lmao). We hope to have just one or two and that's it! Keeping my fingers crossed that if ever.. I wish and pray that this time.. it's a boy! (Oh God please, please...) And for now, I should be celebrating that the result is NEGATIVE.

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